11/06/2008: "Norwegian Jokes - Feel free to add your own"

Ole and Lena went to the Olympics. While sitting on a bench a lady turned to Ole and said, "Are you a pole vaulter?"
Ole said, "No, I'm Norvegian...and my name isn't Valter."
--
Ole was on his deathbed and implored his wife Lena, "When I'm gone, I want you to marry Sven Svenson".
"Why Sven Svenson?" his wife asked. "You've hated him all of your life!"
"Still do," gasped Ole.
--
It was a hot summer day, and Lena was surprised to see Ole wearing both of his winter jackets as he was painting the house. "Is ya cold, Ole?", said Lena.
"No", said Ole, "da paint can said put on two coats".
--
Sven and Ole go into a lumber yard to buy some 2x4's.
"May I help you", ask the salesman. "How long do you want' em?"
Ole replies: "Oh, a long time me tinks. Vere building a house, ya know."
--
Ole has been known to be a bit gullible. Case in point: once, at the county fair, he paid $2 to see the "invisible man".
--
Ole calls the doctor up. "Hurry, I tink Lena's in labor!"
The doctor asks, "Is this her first baby?"
Ole says, "No this is her husband."
--
When Ole accidentally lost 50 cents in the outhouse, he immediately threw in his watch and billfold. He explained, "I'm not going down der yust for 50 cents."

--
A Minneapolis family discovered a nest of skunks under their house. After several attempts to get rid of the little stinkers failed, they tried putting some lutefisk under the house. The skunks left, all right. But now the problem is getting rid of the Norwegians.
--
Ole: I keep seeing spots before my eyes.
Lars: Have you seen a doctor?
Ole: No, just spots.

LOL LOL LOL LOL